So you all know that I am a mum, I have two the most amazing children ever.My son is 6 and my daughter is 4. They are my reason to get up on the morning and try hard every day. Then there is my fiancée, who supports me, loves me, regardless of my moods and my pain. I also have pets, two spoiled cats, a dog, a fish and I am planning to buy myself two rabbits soon. :)
You also know that I am ill and I live with the pain. Every day is the same and will be as there is no cures.
I love rock, but not only. One of my favourites songs is :
I love to read books, I am addicted to diet coke I crochet and write blogs. And I am obsessively organised. :)
There is lots of reasons why I am like that. I mean there is always a reason right? Why did I started to studying psychology and why I've decided it at the age of 25, when having kids?
There was never any time to do it. I've finished my high school and my life was just crazy.
I just wanted to say that this part of my blog will not be to 'pretty', so if you are very soft I would advise you to stop reading it right now.
There is a lot of reasons behind choosing psychology for my degree.
I was the youngest ( third ) child of a single mum, she had an amazing relationship with my siblings. Unfortunately that was not a case with me. She has started being violent towards me when I was 7, I remember every minute of that day and her words. She said that now as I started school everything will change.I have to admit, she kept her word. I was being hit, punched, kicked, swore at, going to school with a black eyes was a normal thing for me, I was threatened and when hurting me wasn't working then she was abusing me mentally, manipulating me and lots of many, different things. I don't want to remember everything, but is not easy to forget. I was forced to find my first job at the age of 12, I have managed to do it all. Work, school, abuse. Yes, I've tried to finish it all. Don't think why I couldn't do it. I was diagnosed with depression at the age of 14, year after I was diagnosed with anorexia after I nearly starved myself to death.
Despite everything I was keep going. I've never gave up. I was attending school, later I had two jobs. I have 12 GCSE's and I was always proud of my achievements. Now I have beautiful family. I am not perfect mum, but after the kind of upbringing I had I am the best mum I could be.
Every bad thing, which has happened to me has made me a strong, independent and very stubborn person.
I know what I want from my life and when I set myself a goal, I know I will achieve it.
I was hoping that by studying psychology I will be able to help myself a little bit, and understand why my mum was like that.
I hope I did not scared you all, to be honest is so much easier for me to talk/write about what was happening to me as a child now, than looking for help then.
Part of me is glad that I had such a horrible childhood. I know sounds mad, but it made me who I am. Yes, I have bad days, specially now when I am all the time in pain, but apart from that no matter what is happening in my life, I will always keep going, looking for a solution till I find one.
So apart from that, I was asked a question :
How do you do it all?
First of all I have a huge support from the love of my life. I mean, that guy is my angel. I wouldn't be diagnosed and I wouldn't have any painkillers if it wouldn't be for him. I was so sick going to the doctors, explaining them the same thing, over and over again! But he was my rock back then, hugging me when I was crying from pain, keeping my head when I was sick, looking for solution and he was keep taking me from one doctor to another, even when I was biting his head of.
Now on a bad day, he have no problem with telling me :
- Stay in bed today, get rest and I will take care of everything.
This man reads me like a book. Every time when I am trying to lie to him, that I am fine and not in pain. One look and he knows, what's wrong.
I am really lucky to have him in my life. Of course like every couple, we have our down days, we argue like everyone else. Sometimes we say things we wish, we would never say. But that's life. For the true happiness and love exist as long as we go to bed and want to wake up the next day, next to each other.
My kids are also involve in helping around the house. I am trying to raise them to responsible, hard working adults. I have to admit I am doing a pretty good job, for now... We will see when they are going to be 15th :D
My kids have there chores. My son is washing plates after dinner and on weekend after breakfast, he is being paid for it. £1 for every time. He knows how to use hoover and is his responsibility to make sure that the room, he shares with his sister is clean. So he reminds my daughter that they have to make beds and clean up.
I am studying mostly on the mornings, because that's the time when my tablets actually work. I do it sometimes for an hour, sometimes for 6 - depends how I feel.
When it comes to cooking one word : SLOW COOKER
You can save so much time!!! Instead of cooking for hours, just throw everything to one pot and leave it to cook itself .
Also... guys... If you don't hoover for two days, your world will not be destroyed ;)
On evenings I am usually reading books, spending time with my family crocheting and all the fun stuff. When my other half is out and kids are in bed, I am opening my laptop, updating my blogs, chatting on fb.
Weekends are family only.
That's pretty much it. Not much of a secret... I am not working for now, I wish I could but the pain will simply not let me. I am always keeping schedule and plan. I don't like to 'go with a flow' , I have to have everything in a correct place and happening within a timeline. lol
I don't know if today post was to 'dark' for all of you. Please say if it was. I was planning to keep it strictly module connected, but I presume from time to time there is nothing wrong to write about something else, right?
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