TMA 01 - marked

 I think many of us was very inpatients, curious and a little bit scared in the past few days... Of course... Our first assignments were due to be marked.

  I was one of THOSE people who were refreshing theirs OU website very 20 minutes on the 25th of Feb, hoping that her mark will be there. I wasn't aware, that our tutor has 10 days to mark it, plus all those posts on my facebook, people saying : Oh, I had my TMA marked! - wasn't helping. 

So what did I do?  ( if you are reading it : Please, DO NOT DO IT AT HOME, as it is not safe! :D ) 

I have e-mailed my tutor.... Basically saying : 

- oi! where is my mark ! 

 Of course, I've written it in more polite way, but the principle of the message were the same. I WANT my mark! Guys... Don't do that.... EVER.... I am sure I was marked down 5% because of that :D ( that was a joke! ) .

 I had e-mail back of my tutor explaining that they have 10 days to do it, and she usually waits but she will mark it today for me........ Yes, cold sweats, hearts palpitations and a word : f***! came out of my mouth very loudly. 

Very quickly I have send her a message back, apologising and explaining my rudeness! I was telling her about my lack of knowledge about those 10 days, and I was making sure that she will know, that I will not do it next time... Still.... those bloody 5 %.... I am almost sure... Just can't prove it...lol   

 Now seriously, between me and you guys : I have a lovely tutor. 

 I am always looking at this the way I am looking at any kind of relationship : 

- It will take time to get to know each other, to be able to know what the other person wants from us. 

This is so important to remember, especially when it comes to a relationship you have with  your teacher. Doesn't really matter ig you are a student, in primary school or on your A lvls. If you don't know your teacher, you don't know what they are looking for in your work. And this can never work. 

 So back to my mark. After an hour, I had an e-mail from The OU, saying : 

- Your TMA was marked.

tam, tam, taaaaaaammmmmmm ( very dramatic music). 

I've logged into my account and there it was, staring at me, smiling and almost saying : 

 Hello, is it me you're looking for????   'Cause I wonder where you areAnd I wonder what you do...

( as my favourite youtuber says : 'whatsupp lyrics references!!!' I am so cool sometimes I could die! lol )

 Now,  I've read a lot of comments about, how students feel; about their marks and tutor. I was involved in lots of discussions, debates.  So hold on for a sec, bear with me and try to follow as it might confused you.

 I will not tell you what mark I had, not because I am ashamed of it , I just don't feel that it is my place to post it. There might be some people who have lover mark and feel uncomfortable about me, moaning about my score.
So lets just say my mark was XY%

 I passed.

And I can't help myself but think :
 I am NOT happy with my mark!

I was aiming for a higher mark that I had. I am not going to lie to you, I was bloody disappointed...

 I thought to myself if I can't achieve A on this essay, the easiest one, first one. How the hell am I going to do it with the hardest one?

 Few thing you need to know about me  : I am a planner and I have to feel in control, I am also very ambitious.

That was what use to keep me sane. I was an A* student, I had scholarships and that was one of the things which was keeping me safe. For those who read my personal post, you all are a little bit aware of my life, for those who haven't you can find it here. Throughout my childhood I was proving myself that despite what my mother says, I am good at something.


 'Thanks' to that I ended up being a control freak lol It is helpful from time to time, for example I came to this country knowing only three sentences :
- Sorry, I can't speak English.
- F*** off
and :
- Don't touch me like that!
:D
  Yes... I know.... I use to walk around with a pen, notebook and a dictionary. If I couldn't explain something, I was simply drawing it.  I remember my first phone call to job centre, I had to apply for my NIN, I was sitting in my kitchen with a dictionary, laptop ( google translator) and I was arguing with  a lad on the phone that I do not need a translator, and it is his damn job to talk to me in my own speed and bear with me. I've told him that if he can't do his job properly he can put me through to someone who can.
We've talked for over three hours.... But! I did it. I've managed to tell him exactly what I needed, without having to talk to someone who would translate it for me. I was very proud that day.  I wanted to learn to speak. I mean, I LOVE to speak! Living in a different country and not being able to understand 'local people' would kill me! lol
 I don't understand foreigners who live here for 5 to 10 years and they can't speak.  I feel ashamed when I am meeting a Polish person, they live here, but they ask me to translate for them.  I did, at the beginning, but then I've realised something: You, Brits are lovely people. If you could, you would give your heart away, but sometimes you are too nice! Because you are making it so easy for others, making them feel welcome and doing the 'job' for them, you are enabling them to bloody learn.  To whichever office I went, they were passing me a piece of paper with translated question, they've need to ask me. What was their surprise, when I was pushing it away saying : Thank you, but I am fully capable of speaking to you in your language. I am in this country five years now, and people who just meet me are still surprise that my English is SOOOO good. No, it is not. You are not praising yourself for being able to speak, don't praise us. ;)
 English is so hard to learn, that's true. It is like you just love making your life difficult for yourself :D But it is not impossible to learn. ;)


So, back to my original point when I saw my mark I burst into tears, run to Matt ( my partner) and said to him :
- I shouldn't study, I am just to stupid!

 He read my feedback, saw my mark, shook his head and said :
- You're one, crazy lady/
lol Yes, I love him too.... I needed that, to be honest I felt sorry for myself for two days about that mark. I was going over my assignment, reading it, analysing it and saying to myself :
Why the hell I haven't had an A?!!!

I wasn't blaming my tutor.  How could I ? It was me, who was writing it, not her. She just has that unpleasant job where she has to mark me.
  Like I've mentioned before : I've read loads of things about it. People were upset with their tutor, because they were marked down. The were upset with other students because they were having higher score than them, but they were still unhappy about it.

The thing is it doesn't really matter if you have 38% or 75% - You are allowed to be unhappy with it, because each one of us has different ambitious, plans. Someone can score a B, but they wanted to have an A. You had a C and can't stand that someone is moaning about B? You would kill for a B? They should be lucky?
No. This is not how life works. So what that you would love to have B? Maybe, just maybe they want to have the best score because in their head that's what they can do.
I use to hate when someone was saying to me :
- Oh, you know you should be happy with your mark, I had only 'bla bla bla'.
I don't care what you had! It doesn't make me feel better. I want a bloody A!

And again, if you are happy with your 38%, because you were sure you will fail big time - good for you!!!

I guess what I am trying to say is ;
Don't go to hard on other people, don't blame anyone about your first score.

No one can help you with it, and your mark is equivalent to your knowledge, maybe next time you can work a little bit harder on your essay structure, or understanding the question.
 That's why we have a feedback from our tutors, to learn, to get better.

 Doesn't really matter if you are jealous, or you think your tutor marked you unfairly.

I've spoke yesterday to one of my 'module' friends, we both were unhappy with our marks, and help each other to go through the 'FIRST MARK'.
 We felt sorry for ourselves, we've support each other.  ( Thanks B ;) )

I think it is really important to take your first mark easy. On the end of the day, some of you haven't done any uni writing in few years. Personally I was studying with a brick uni last year, but I didn't knew what OU is expecting from me.
 Most important : talk to your tutor. The are the one who can help you improve your work, help you understand.

 From here we can finally start. We have our first feedback, we can learn from it, we know what to look for in our next assignment. Plus by now I am sure every one of us has made at least one uni friend, so we can have someone to rant to. :)

I hope that all of your marks, are a starting point for you, and I am sure you've all done the best job you could at the time, and now you can only get better.
And if you are absolutely happy with your mark : Well done!!!!!!! High five!!! :)

Sorry if today post was a little bit chaotic, I have teeth infection since Friday, I have flu since yesterday, I had a phone call from my Gp saying that on the top of Ankylosing Spondylitis and Fibromyalgia I have Restless Legs Syndrome ( another non-curable condition) and I have phoned my mother, which never makes me feel good, yesterday I've overdone with my painkillers, so I had a 'date with my toilet' - basically I've spend most of my night with my head in it. My poor dog was shaking and freaking out, not knowing what the heck is wrong with me. He have spent the whole time with his head on my knees, he would leave my site. Matt was out so I had to call him and ask him to come home, which always makes me feel rubbish ( I hate that I am the reason that he can't have an evening out, without worrying sick about me)...So as you can see I have a lot on my plate right now... I am hoping to feel better soon thou :) I so don't like to giving up....

Online tutorials

 Quick post about  online tutorials.

 I know that many of us, who haven't attend online tutorials, are a little bit unsure, maybe even scared to attend them.
 I was not comfortable with joining online 'lessons' myself.  That's why I've decided to write this post.

 Last Wednesday I had my first online tutorial and I wanted to share with all of you how did it go.
First of all, all that fear was unnecessary! You don't have to talk to your microphone, you can just type like in a chat box on fb. Which was much easier for me, than going and speaking.  I am sure that speaking on those tutorials will came easier as time goes on.

I think the best thing was the possibility to do other things, whilst attending my class. I was watching my program, crocheting and doing my coursework.   In my own bed, I was relaxed and comfy.

 The one thing I want to mention is. The tutorial was basically a little bit of repeat of my first face to face tutorial. So is worth to consider, if attending it is necessary for you.

I hope that all of you are enjoying your course so far. :)

TMA 01 (cut-off date: 24 February 2014)

 Word limit : 750
Font size : 12
Space between lines : Double ( I couldn't find it in my assignment booklet, so I've asked other students)
Worth : 5% of your total mark.


 So here we are :) I couldn't wait any longer so after my first tutorial and few corrections, I've submitted my first TMA yesterday. I am not sure if I feel stressed or more excited at the minute.

 Just wanted to do a quick check list for all of us, if you haven't submitted your TMA yet, it might be useful.

BEFORE USING ANY OF MY TIPS, PLEASE CHECK WITH YOUR TUTOR FIRST!

Different tutors might have different expectations and I don't want to give anyone wrong informations!
All things I am writing about were checked with MY tutor.

 Ok, lets start our check list :

• Go back to the activity in LC1 pg.26. Think if there is anything else you could add to your essay
• Make sure that you do not go over your 10% + or - of your word count.
• Your name, personal identifier, TMA question and references on the end of your work, do not count into the word limit
• References used inside your assignment do count
• Make sure you've written your self reflection
• Make sure that you are COMPEERING your street to the City Road
• If you struggle with your references, go to your assignment booklet pg. 14-15. Basically all you have to do is copy the one from there. 
• Do not submit your self reflection as a separate document! Just put it on another (new) page of your assignment. 
• Put your word count at the end of your TMA
• proof read your assignment before sending it- I've made a few silly mistakes and I am glad that I've checked it before I've send it. 
• If you have used any websites to get information about your street : reference it on a separate page as a  Secondary references 
• Make sure that you have 3-4 examples of benefits or loses. 
• Do not introduce any new ideas in your conclusion! 

 Please don't stress nor doubt in yourself. We all spend lots of time, put lots of effort into our assignments and I am sure we will all do great.  After all this assignment is to help us, getting use to the whole TMA writing and I am sure that our tutors will not be to harsh on us, they will leave constructive feedback, and we will be able to learn from it.
If you've done everything on the check list, don't sit there and think :
- Should I submit my TMA?

Just do it! If you are going to think about, you will start doing corrections, by doing this you might destroy good piece of work, for a sake of doubting in yourself. If you haven't came up with any new ideas by now, there is no point trying go think about them.;

I wish you all first pass :)

My first tutorial.

 I had my first tutorial yesterday. We had a decent number of people there, which was brilliant. I even had one of my friends there! Which was a huge relieve and a surprise. I was aware that she is doing this module, but I thought she will have her tutorials somewhere else.

 My tutor seams nice, I would say she is a little bit shy and it appears ( for me) that she was as nervous as we :D It will sounds cheese, but I really liked her accent. I ended up trying to work out, where is she originally from. :D

 Activities we were given, were basically the one for LC1. Which was nice, because i could use my notes.

 I was a little bit worried, because I am not British and last time I was doing a course with one of the local universities , my nationality was brought up every five minutes. it made me feel a little bit like they were trying to say :
- You shouldn't have opinion about this topic, you are not British, so what can you now.

 Which of course was provoking me to be very defensive, because I am living in this country, I was working when my health wasn't as bad as it is now, I was paying taxes, all my friends are British, including my fiancée. My kids are going to school here and I am planning to stay here for the rest of my days and I do have a right to express my opinion about politics, benefits and everything else.

 To be honest I have big mouth, without being provoked and it is difficult for me to bite my tongue if I feel passionate about something.

 Well... I think some people on this tutorial felt like I am a little bit to much for them :D  I am hoping it will change, I am very simple girl and if you have the patience to get through all those hard shields and protections walls, I am really nice and carry person. I would give my hart out to people who need help. ( self-advertising much :D ). People just need to get use to me and then they can see all those good qualities.

 One think I am regretting after this tutorial is not speaking to my tutor about my conditions. I mean, I did planned to get there early and talk to her, when no one was there, but as I entranced the classroom , there were already some students. I thought to myself :
- Naaah, don't worry Barb, you can do it.

And I was sitting quietly for two hours. My back were killing me, but I did not mentioned it. After I came home, I was drained, my back were in pieces, my hands, elbows and ankles were demanding painkillers. I could feel my migraine coming. The charms about those migraines are amazing, for example if I sit for to long ( especially on those uncomfortable chairs!) my neck muscles are ending up in spasms, which is provoking my head to develop migraine.  It is painful, but also fascinating how our body can fight and alarm us. It is nearly like it tries to tell us :
- No, this is not ok with me, you are hurting me. Stop it now!

 So I've spend all night in pain, and I am just popping painkillers now, hoping that they will start working.

I am not comfortable to talk about my conditions with strangers, heck I am still not use to the idea that I am not independent and I need people to care for me. I mean I had my first job when I was 12! I was cooking, paying bills, going to school, taking care of my mother and older siblings. Now... now I have to ask my partner if he can help me pick up my shoes... My children are helping me to get up from the sofa. They are the only people who I am allowing to see really in how much pain I am. Even around my partners family, I am acting like nothing is wrong with me, always smiling, joking.
  I tell you all my secret... I don't want my family to know this, so I am keeping it to myself, but it begins to feel heavy... I feel useless sometimes. Useless as a mum, as a woman, as a future wife, as a human.
When I have a bad day, I am just lying in my bedroom, steering at the celling, can't move my neck or head, can't get up because it hurts to much. Can't read a book or watch a movie. Lying there with my doors shut, curtains closed and thinking : How much easier their lives would be without to having to look at me in this state, carrying for me and feeling bad, because they can't do anything to help me, to easy my pain.

 Anyway... I went far away from the topic :D
So... I've e-mailed my tutor today asking her if it would be ok for me to stretch a little bit, instead of sitting for two hours straight. I am waiting for her to mail me back.

I am glad I went this tutorial. It was a good experience overall. :)

On the more personal note....

 I was talking to a few people on facebook and they've encourage me to write a little bit more personal posts as well, so here I am. Writing for all of you. It is not to hard for me, considering that I love to talk, especially about myself :D

 So you all know that I am a mum, I have two the most amazing children ever.My son is 6 and my daughter is 4. They are my reason to get up on the morning and try hard every day. Then there is my fiancée, who supports me, loves me, regardless of my moods and my pain. I also have pets, two spoiled cats, a dog, a fish and I am planning to buy myself two rabbits soon. :)
You also know that I am ill and I live with the pain. Every day is the same and will be as there is no cures.



I love rock, but not only. One of my favourites songs is :

 I love to read books, I am addicted to diet coke I crochet and write blogs. And I am obsessively organised. :) 

 There is lots of reasons why I am like that. I mean there is always a reason right? Why did I started to studying psychology and why I've decided it at the age of 25, when having kids? 

 There was never any time to do it. I've finished my high school and my life was just crazy. 

I just wanted to say that this part of my blog will not be to 'pretty', so if you are very soft I would advise you to stop reading it right now. 

There is a lot of reasons behind choosing psychology for my degree. 

 I was the youngest ( third ) child of a single mum, she had an amazing relationship with my siblings. Unfortunately that was not a case with me. She has started being violent towards me when I was 7, I remember every minute of that day and her words. She said that now as I started school everything will change.I have to admit, she kept her word. I was being hit, punched, kicked, swore at, going to school with a black eyes was a normal thing for me, I was threatened and when hurting me wasn't working then she was abusing me mentally, manipulating me and  lots of many, different things. I don't want to remember everything, but is not easy to forget. I was forced to find my first job at the age of 12, I have managed to do it all. Work, school, abuse. Yes, I've tried to finish it all. Don't think why I couldn't do it. I was diagnosed with depression at the age of 14, year after I was diagnosed with anorexia  after I nearly starved myself to death. 

Despite everything I was keep going. I've never gave up. I was attending school, later I had two jobs. I have 12 GCSE's and I was always proud of my achievements.  Now I have beautiful family. I am not perfect mum, but after the kind of upbringing I had I am the best mum I could be. 

Every bad thing, which has happened to me has made me a strong, independent and very stubborn person. 

I know what I want from my life and when I set myself a goal, I know I will achieve it. 

 I was hoping that by studying psychology I will be able to help myself a little bit, and understand why my mum was like that. 

I hope I did not scared you all, to be honest is so much easier for me to talk/write about what was happening to me as a child now, than looking for help then. 

 Part of me is glad that I had such a horrible childhood. I know sounds mad, but it made me who I am. Yes, I have bad days, specially now when I am all the time in pain, but apart from that no matter what is happening in my life, I will always keep going, looking for a solution till I find one. 

 So apart from that, I was asked a question : 

How do you do it all? 

 First of all I have a huge support from the love of my life. I mean, that guy is my angel. I wouldn't be diagnosed and I wouldn't have any painkillers if it wouldn't be for him. I was so sick going to the doctors, explaining them the same thing, over and over again! But he was my rock back then, hugging me when I was crying from pain, keeping my head when I was sick, looking for solution and he was keep taking me from one doctor to another, even when I was biting his head of. 

 Now on a bad day, he have no problem with telling me : 

- Stay in bed today, get rest and I will take care of everything. 

This man reads me like a book. Every time when I am trying to lie to him, that I am fine and not in pain. One look and he knows, what's wrong. 

 I am really lucky to have him in my life. Of course like every couple, we have our down days, we argue like everyone else. Sometimes we say things we wish, we would never say. But that's life. For the true happiness and love exist as long as we go to bed and want to wake up the next day, next to each other. 

My kids are also involve in helping around the house. I am trying to raise them to responsible, hard working adults. I have to admit I am doing a pretty good job, for now... We will see when they are going to be 15th :D 

 My kids have there chores. My son is washing plates after dinner and on weekend after breakfast, he is being paid for it. £1 for every time. He knows how to use hoover and is his responsibility to make sure that the room, he shares with his sister is clean. So he reminds my daughter that they have to make beds and clean up. 

 I am studying mostly on the mornings, because that's the time when my tablets actually work. I do it sometimes for an hour, sometimes for 6 - depends how I feel. 

 When it comes to cooking one word : SLOW COOKER

 You can save so much time!!! Instead of cooking for hours, just throw everything to one pot and leave it to cook itself . 

Also... guys... If you don't hoover for two days, your world will not be destroyed ;) 

On evenings I am usually reading books, spending time with my family crocheting and all the fun stuff. When my other half is out and kids are in bed, I am opening my laptop, updating my blogs, chatting on fb. 

Weekends are family only. 

That's pretty much it. Not much of a secret... I am not working for now, I wish I could but the pain will simply not let me. I am always keeping schedule and plan. I don't like to 'go with a flow' , I have to have everything in a correct place and happening within a timeline. lol 

 I don't know if today post was to 'dark' for all of you. Please say if it was. I was planning to keep it strictly module connected, but I presume from time to time there is nothing wrong to write about something else, right? 

Tips for your first TMA.

 I hope you all are doing grate and this TMA is not giving you any problems. Ok, so I've decided to cover few common questions. :

1. Does the title, and references are part of my word count? 

No. The only text included in your word count is your main text and references made within. e.g :

( as Babette has written in her blog, ' I've decided to cover few common questions'  ( www.beingmaturestudent.blogspot.com, pg 1 ) 

2. Can I use the rule of 10% + or - word count?

The best way to do it is to ask your tutor. Some of them are allowing it, some not.  

3. How to write my references? 

If you are writing in WORD you have actually a choice to put your references in in different styles, including the Harvard one. All you have to do then is write author, page and year and word will do it for you. 

4. I am stuck, what next?? 

 Put it away, go get yourself a drink and relax. Come back to it the next day. 

5. How to write my introduction? 

Imagine that you will introducing yourself? What would you say? Probably your name, age , if you are a parent, where you working and what are your hobbies. This is exactly how your TMA introduction should look like. You telling the reader your question, what information they will find in your essay, what you are basic your work on. 

6. How to write my conclusion? 

It simply summing up your whole work. So if you have proved that most people is loosing, then you have to say it and explain why is it that way. Don't go over 5 sentences. DO NOT INTRODUCE NEW POINT OF VIEWS! 

7. I am going over my word count!! 

Some of the words you can just simply change for example : 

Instead of writing: 'ask for' say ' request' , or ' It is clear that' use ' obviously' . 

Take your time, write few drafts and come back to it. You might have new ideas, views. Don't stress, there is no pint for that. What's the point of studying if you are not enjoying it?? 

Thesaurus should be your Bible ;) 

Make a plan. 

Go to the activity I've told you about in my previous post.

If you have opportunity use program called Inspiration 9 ( Look pic underneath). 

Print out all audio and DVD transcripts. 

And the most important : ENJOY IT ! ;) 

 

Pic taken from http://blog.writeathome.com/index.php/2013/04/proofreading-checklist-for-the-basic-essay/

Tips of the day : Get organised! Part 2

 We've covered folders and time saving in my previous post. 

 Today I wanted to show you another helpful thing : REVISION CARDS. 

  Throughout your studies you will get to know many new terms, definitions and similar things.  So what I am doing is, writing them down and putting it all into my revision box. It is always helpful to have them next to you, when you study, write essays or just simply can't remember what the definition of certain word was. 

It is not to expensive. I've paid for the box, 200 revision cards and alphabetical order cards - all in the

 8' x 5' size £14. 

I am really advising all of you to invest in them. :) 

Tips of the day : Get organised ! part 1

 Sorry for my absence, unfortunately I wasn't very well. I am back now :) Still pretty rough and everything is aching me, but I sat down today like a brave girl and I've done my work, now I am writing for all of you!  I am simply amazing! :D

So today I would like to talk a little bit about organising your time and work. I am obsessed with planning, lists, having everything in separate folders , but I have a reason. Thanks to that I had two scholarships and I was A* student for 11 years! So you all better listen to me hahah


 So why I like organising so much?

I have everything clearly marked and displayed.
I am visual learner, so when I use colours it is helping me to remember.
I have easy access to all my work. Nothing worse than had to go through billion of pages, papers to find the bit I need.!
Saves time
Sticking to a 'what to do' list is helping with my time and I can have some free for myself.

So do organise your work guys.  You don't have to go over the top like me, but is so good to do a little bit. If you regret it, you can come and tell me that I am full of it. Although I am 100% sure that you can only benefit from it.

That's my DD101 folder.

  I have weeks in sections, so I know where to look for what.

 I am doing my activities there,

After highlithign a text in my books I am basing my study notes on them.

 

And after all of that I have my drafts of TMA's.

When I need to go back, everything is displayed clearly and I am not going crazy because I need to find something. :)